"Sex is a place you go, not something you do" 

Esther Perel 

Sexology is the scientific study of human sexuality. A Somatic Sexologist is a professional who works within this field, supporting individuals in exploring their sexuality through the body, using tools such as nervous system awareness, breath, movement, and other embodied practices to help heal blocks around pleasure, intimacy, and sexual expression. 

We live in a world that prioritises male pleasure. From the lessons we’re taught to the media we consume, the dominant narrative revolves around how men experience desire and satisfaction. As a result, women have been led to believe that their own sexuality is secondary, something less important, even shameful.

Most mainstream sexual scripts focus on how to please a man. And to make matters worse, the vast majority of sex research has historically been conducted on male bodies, leaving women with limited resources to understand their own.

So it’s no surprise that many women are left wondering:

• Why can’t I orgasm?

• Where has my libido gone?

• Why does sex feel so unfulfilling?

These questions often lead to self-blame. Women internalise the confusion, assuming something is wrong with them — believing their bodies are broken, and eventually resigning themselves to the idea that “this is just how it is.”

But here’s the truth: sex is part of a motivation system.
If the sex you’re having isn’t satisfying, of course you won’t want more of it.

And if that sex is centered around a male experience, ignoring the rhythms, needs, and turn-ons of a woman’s body , it’s no wonder that desire begins to fade.

You can only keep showing up for sex “for someone else” for so long, even if you love them.

That’s why sexology, especially the kind that empowers women to understand, explore, and reclaim their own pleasure — is so essential. It helps women return to themselves. It dismantles the layers of shame, silence, and misinformation passed down by culture, religion, and outdated gender roles.

It’s time to rewrite the narrative, one where women’s pleasure is seen, valued, and prioritised.

Difficulty with Orgasm

First, let’s get something clear: difficulty with orgasm is not a problem unless it’s causing you distress. If you’re not bothered by it, there’s nothing to fix.

But if orgasm (or the lack of it) is taking up mental space, creating frustration, or making you feel disconnected from your body, I want you to know this:

Your body is not broken.
Yes, you can orgasm.
You simply haven’t been given the right tools or conditions yet.

For orgasm to happen, you need to be deeply aroused, and I mean really aroused. That level of arousal requires safety, presence, and the ability to fully focus on your own experience. You need to feel relaxed enough to surrender into your body, not stuck in your head or survival mode.

But here’s the reality:
We live in a world that keeps women busy, overstimulated, and disconnected from their bodies. We carry the majority of the mental load at home. Many of us work full time. And yet, we’re expected to function on a system built for men, one based on a 24-hour cycle of productivity that doesn’t leave room for rest, slowness, or deep connection.

We're constantly on.
We have busy minds.
We’re often in fight-or-flight.
We carry shame around our bodies and sexuality.
We’ve been under-educated (or completely misled) about pleasure.
We struggle to name, let alone express, our needs and desires.

Any one of these things can act like a sexual brake, shutting down arousal and making orgasm feel impossible.

But it’s not impossible.

The work we do together focuses on unpacking all of this, using a somatic (body-based) approach that helps you regulate your nervous system, reconnect to your body, and center your pleasure.

Low Sexual Desire

Low desire often walks hand-in-hand with difficulty orgasming, though it can also show up on its own.

Let’s be clear again:
If you're not having sex and you’re okay with that, then there’s no problem. You don’t need to “fix” something just because someone else thinks you should.

But if you want to feel more desire, or you miss feeling sexually alive, there’s absolutely hope.

A woman’s sexual desire is often a direct reflection of how she’s feeling in her life. For many, sex is the last thing on a long to-do list, or it falls off the list entirely under the weight of stress, exhaustion, and daily demands.

Desire can be complex. There are many possible brakes:

• Stress and mental overload

• Body image concerns

• Shame and disconnection from pleasure

• Lack of quality sex education

• Relationship challenges

• Emotional distance

• Busy, restless minds

For 60–70% of women, desire is responsive, meaning it doesn’t come out of nowhere. It grows in response to sexual stimuli or emotional connection. This type of desire requires intention, patience, and a deep understanding of what uniquely turns you on, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

So if you haven’t felt desire in years, don’t lose hope. Your desire isn’t broken or lost. It’s just sleeping.

And the work we do together?
It’s about gently waking it up, fanning the flame of your desire with care, and giving you the tools to keep it burning, on your terms, for as long as you want.